1.4~ Maxed Out

04-23-17_11-56-41 AM

Pegasus stiffly pushes himself up from the bed’s soft embrace. He props himself up on his elbows and forces sleep and hangover to leave him. He blinks away the blurry eyes and gasps when he realizes this bed is not his own. He is flooded with worry, all his body allows him to do is sit on the edge of the bed and force his stomach to not empty on this strangers wood floors.04-23-17_11-57-32 AM

Pegasus dared not look over at who he was in bed with. He was so focused on trying to pull anything from the night before that he hardly noticed as the man awoke and edged closer to Pegasus. On the verge of some kinda mental break down, Pegasus tensed as he drew nearer. If he didn’t feel like his life was falling apart before, he sure felt like it now.04-23-17_11-58-34 AM

“Hey, are you alright?”

Maddox’s voice is soft, this is the first time things like that are happening to him. He isn’t the type to go out drinking himself silly and bring strange men home. This is what people expected of him when he came out, but never did it cross his mind that maybe it would.

Maddox began to worry when tears fell down this lilac stranger’s face. Pure habit caused him to start playing with the soft locks of hair and try to soothe this troubled creature. The stranger sobbed and only when he stopped on his own did Maddox offer some clothing and a cup of coffee.

~.~.~04-23-17_12-09-18 PM

“So, let me make sure I understand. You got used by some prick, joined a dating tv show then lost the game. Came home and were miserable, now you live with your brother, his jackass wife and their little angels?”

Pegasus catches the mistake immediately, but he does not want to reveal who or why, so he just nods and takes a small drink from the mug of coffee. Maddox and Pegasus decided that they really needed to get to know one another now. They couldn’t quite remember how far they did or didn’t get which only made Pegasus feel more sick than he was already.

“. . .I’m sorry”

“For?”

“Leading you on?”

Maddox reaches out and takes Pegasus’s hand, “You did no such thing, darling. I completely understand. I’ll tell you something too, i’ve been in the closet for 11 years- “

04-23-17_7-54-29 PM

“Oh my god, you’re gay. Great! F*&^$^-“

“Uh, pardon me. I’m just a touch confused?. . . SHIT you’re straight aren’t you?”

Here, this is the point where Pegasus will destroy his life of his own free will. Had he been truthful in this moment Maddox and he would have been together happily in no less than 3 months. They would have been steadily dating in no less than 10 and by the time they’re approaching the 2nd year mark they’re arranging a marriage. His fear of falling in love makes him lie. His fear of being used again takes control of him and spins the first silk string in a web of lies that these two will be wrapped tightly in.

“I. . . y-yeah?”

Maddox rubs his face and sighs, “Talk to me Pegasus, you sound unsure.”

Heart racing, Pegasus tells a bold faced lie that he’s thought he was straight up until now. How he thinks he enjoyed last night but he doesn’t really know now. Maddox clears his throat awkwardly and focuses on his phone a little more than before.

“I’m going to be completely honest with you. I really enjoy being with you, and I am gay. Maybe you’re bisexual? I’m not going to force to know today, but I might know some people who can help you, uh, ‘find yourself’ “

~.~.~

04-23-17_8-18-39 PM

“I don’t quite understand how this little cafe is going to help me find myself. Were you just trying to get me on a date?” Pegasus teases lightly, for as much as he knows this is wrong he doesn’t want to admit that it will do harm the longer he let’s it go on for.

“Haha, very funny. No, this is where we meet up.”

“. . .We?”04-23-17_8-19-03 PM

“Oui. That is where the biweekly meetings of the LGBTea Parties are held. Our little slice of normality of being abnormal in a big city.”

“So, who is that sitting at the head of the table?”

“Oh, That’s Max

04-23-17_8-20-25 PM

Max, oh how he gets wrapped up in this silly mess. Having moved to the big city for a chance at love and acceptance, Max was met with neither before this cafe and the LGBTea Parties. It took blood, sweat, and the constant question of why he had such a feminine face to get to where he is now. On top of it, knowing that his pride is a safe place for a rotational group of youths, adults and elders alike made him feel like his dream was half-way met. All that was left was finding a little love.

04-23-17_8-21-27 PM

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Max. I’m pretty new to San Myshuno, so this is the honestly the first time I’ve stepped into the Spice District.”04-23-17_8-22-02 PM

:It’s a pleasure to meet you, so tell me a little about yourself. There’s no wrong or right things to say I’m just curious about you as a person.”

Pegasus nervously details his current dilemma, how he’s in San Myshuno trying to clear his head, the wrath he endures from Ruth, the fun he and Maddox had the night before. He finished with his lie of not knowing his sexuality, it almost leaves a vile taste in his mouth. Pegasus was never much of a liar, but he seemed to be better at it than he thought.04-23-17_8-22-38 PM

“Well here’s the thing, you’re lying to me Pegasus.”

“Max!”

“I’m serious! Do you HONESTLY expect me to sit here, a proud member of the LGBT+ community, and accept that the dude calling himself Pegasus with lilac hair is straight?”04-23-17_8-24-47 PM

“You’re kind’ve being a bitch about this Max! He’s confused and-“

“Bullshit he’s confused! Let me tell you what probably happened! Your buddy over there knows exactly that’s he’s gay but he’s a little bitch and doesn’t want to admit that because he’s never had a one night stand before! You know why? Nobody wants to accept that they’re a minority Maddie! All Pegasus is sitting here and doing is being a bitch about the fact that he might, for the first time in his life, be embarrassed about being gay!”04-23-17_8-25-20 PM

A deep, silent anger wells in the pit of Pegasus’s stomach. Maddox has recoiled from the outrage in Max, this is something he’s never seen before from their president.

“See how quiet he gets now that’s been caught in his little lie? I’m right aren’t I?!”04-23-17_8-25-49 PM

“You know what you are? the worst f*&%^#* advocate for something like this.”

“Oh god, here we go.”04-23-17_8-26-32 PM

“Excuse me?”04-23-17_8-31-58 PM

Pegasus pushes his chair back and stands, “Maybe this will make it more clear for you.” and he stuck his middle finger right to Max’s face. Looking at Maddox, Pegasus does his best to regain composure. “Thanks for trying to help, but it obviously a huge mistake to think that maybe something right could be done in this community. I can’t believe I ever trusted you.”

As Pegasus walked away from the table he began to realize the weight of what he was starting to get into. He has lied to two people, one of which is completely right. His grave gone from 6ft to 12ft under and keeping this act up is going to really hurt someone soon. At the same time, why should it hurt anyone? It was his life and he wasn’t outright saying he’s not bisexual. He’s just. . . unsure.

Then three other run up the stairs and block Pegasus from leaving.

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